FIREPROOF

Last evening, my husband and I were able to have a rare movie date.
And it wasn't just any movie. It was the just released film, Fireproof.

I wish the writer in me could adequately put into words a how moved I was by this film. I wish I could write a review worthy of it...
But you'll just have to trust me on this.

Go see it.

I'm not getting any compenation for this post whatsoever. But I think it's important to spread the word that there is movie out now that is both edifying and possibly life changing.

It's the story of a couple in serious trouble- who wonder if their marriage is even worth saving at all.
And things don't look too promising as the wife begins divorce proceedings.

The husband is a firefighter- a pillar of the community- yet he lacks lately in his ability to make his wife feel loved.
His wife has, in turn, become bitter...
But just when all seems completely hopeless, the man's father challenges him to a 40 day challenge.

This movie has both intense action, lots of humor, and above all, a very meaningful message.
My husband and I were impressed that the gospel of Jesus is presented completely and without compromise... as well as the message of commitment and love, even when times are tough.

The husband is portrayed by Kirk Cameron (who first began his acting career on the TV show, "Growing Pains" back in the '80's) and I have to say, he did a phenomenal job in this role.

Sure, there are a few very minor characters that have less than stellar acting skills, but the pull of the story and the performances of the main characters more than make up for it.

And when you consider that this movie was made though a church in Georgia with just a small professional movie crew- and supplemented by 500 church members who basically volunteered in various ways- just as they did with the film, "Facing the Giants"- then it is truly impressive that this movie comes off as polished as it does.

This is a movie that at the heart of it is has two incredible messages. It's a movie for seekers of God...and a movie which challenges couples to move to a deeper level of commitment.
And if you do go see this with your spouse, be prepared to go have coffee afterward or at the very least, sit in your car in the parking lot (as we did) and talk about the story together.

And then, maybe even consider checking into one of these incredible resources, such as the Love Dare book or Bible Study.

But at the very least- grab your honey and go see it together.

Marriage Monday- On "Recreational Companionship"

I'm participating once again in Marriage Monday and this month's topic is:

How Recreation Impacts Marriage

This topic got me to thinking back years ago...when it was just the two of us.
So...back in time to the newlywed years...

Since my husband was in the Navy, and we were now living clear across the country in Virginia, we were eager to take advantage of exploring the east coast whenever we could. This didn't happen as often as we liked, due to the fact that his ship was always going out to sea.

In fact, right after he returned from the first big 6-month deployment, and as an early 1st anniversary celebration, we went away to a fancy B&B. It was just wonderful...


But then again, any place probably would have been wonderful together after six months apart!

We went camping a time or two, took off on countless day trips,


Sometimes as far as Richmond or Washington D.C., several hours away.



(Ahh...those were the days... when gasoline wasn't liquid gold!)

We took one memorial Thanksgiving weekend, and drove up to Pennsylvania, exploring the Amish country, seeing the Liberty Bell, stopping at Hershey, and our favorite, most meaningful place, Gettysburg.
(How I wish I could find those pictures!)

Good times.
And...Tiring times....Cranky times...Romantic times.

Yep, even before children, it was all that and more.


It seems back then, that we did manage to go and see so much, in spite of the fact that his ship was always coming and going. And one time, his ship did go to NYC, and in that case, it actually provided a chance for us to see New York together for another whirlwind weekend!

But one of our favorite couple times of all, was actually after we became parents.

In 2005, for our 10th anniversary, we hesitantly left our two little ones (ages three and almost six) with family and good friends, took the vacation money we had been saving for a few years, and went to Hawaii for a whole, entire week.

You see, despite our little excursions over the years, we had still never really had a true honeymoon. In fact, the opposite might be true...so many forced times of separation during our early years!

So, as we approached our 10th anniversary, we were now on the heels of the diaper and nursing stages, and all the various joys and stresses that accompany new parents. Our taking this one week for ourselves alone was like a refreshing renewal of who we were as a couple.

Not to mention, there were no responsibilities for either of us except checking into hotels and shaking the sand out of our towels for seven whole days!
Seeing some sights, swimming and snorkeling, attending luaus...but spending countless hours just walking hand in hand on the shores of Maui as the setting sun dropped lazily into the sea.


That anniversary week was probably even better than it would have been ten years earlier right after our wedding. Not only now did we feel even more appreciative of this break from daily responsibilities...but we now had actually lived together as man and wife, through the good times and bad.
Our love, though far from perfect, had taken root.


These days, we don't always find time for regular date nights like we really should...but we do try to steal away occasionally.
We did go away for a weekend after Hawaii alone together to the San Juan islands and it was an incredible time...


Most recently, when the girls were at a Saturday six-hour church "day camp" event, my husband and I had the most fun just going for a simple bike ride together through the woods, then stopping at a bagel place- just like we did pre-kids, back in Virginia.

Whether it's been as extravagant as Hawaii....or as simple as a bike ride alone together....finding time for us as a couple has always helped serve as reminders to relax, renew, and most importantly,
treasure one another in the every day schedules of life.

To visit more Marriage Monday participants, stop by our wonderful host, Chrysalis!

Marriage Monday...Help for real live marriages

I am late getting in on this, but today is Marriage Monday!

As I pondered what to write about, since she gave us free-reign on the subject this month, my first thoughts were that marriage- even Christian marriage- can be challenging.

I am married to a good man who loves God, loves me, and loves our children.
But even this doesn't exempt me from occasionally getting frustrated with him, or feeling hurt over something he did (or didn't do).
Because when you think of it, living side by side with someone else day in and day out, there's got to be occasional conflict of some sort.
Add to the mix that each person comes from different family backgrounds, has different personalities, and the topper- a different gender than the other and therefore a sometimes different way of looking at things- wow!

But nevertheless, marriage is God's plan for most of us, and a gift...He wouldn't have ordained it if the benefits had the potential of outweighing the challenges!


(Taken on my 40th birthday- the theme was "the 40's"! He was no longer active duty here...;))

I think in churches, and in Christian circles of blogland, too, that a picture is painted of continuous marital bliss. So, some of us are left thinking, "Are we the only Christian couple who ever has a disagreement, gets sometimes disappointed in my mate, or feels frustration?"

I do heartily say that we should never publicly criticize our spouses, but instead honor them! (And mine can be incredibly romantic, caring, incredibly hard working...and I am truly blessed!)
But if we're all going to be honest, some of us- depending on personality types- are going to have some moments of non-marital bliss.

Yes, even my wonderful husband and I.

But even in our more challenging times, God has been right there with us, and sometimes has directed us to some great sources of encouragement and guidance.

I thought I would take this Marriage Monday to share a couple of them with you.
(Yes, even those of you who have a near-perfect marriage...because even good marriages can become that much better!)

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggrich.
We attended a year long monthly video seminar through our church beginning in 2006 and it was life changing. He gives insight into how men and women look at life differently, which can cause complete misunderstanding...and although the same can be said of both genders, men primarily crave respect the most and women crave love and feeling loved...and how we can meet each other's needs.

Another couple we like immensely is Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. (Yep, they share the same name!)
We were blessed to be apart of an all-day live seminar at our church for couples on Valentine's Day a few years ago, and they give practical, every day advice for everything concerning marriage. One of their best sellers is "Saving your marriage before it starts" and they have written countless others on how to enjoy every day life with your spouse.

Of course, there are so many others out there...too many to mention.
So, you mention them!
What Christian author has been helpful to you in some way, large or small? Please share!

And to read other Marriage Monday posts, stop by our gracious host, Chrysalis!

Blessings!

From This Day Forward... (Our Wedding Story)

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Welcome to Marriage Monday, hosted by Chrysalis!
In honor of June, the theme this month is

"Our Wedding Day"...


When I think back to my wedding, and all the days leading up to it, it seems like a whirlwind of happiness, excitement, a few snags, a tiny bit of stress...and with just a little bit of loneliness thrown in.

Loneliness, you ask?
You see, my fiance', who had joined the Navy the previous summer, was half way across the country during most of this frantic and exciting time.
Therefore, I was left to make all the decisions (and to make them all on a tiny shoestring budget!)

With my minuscule savings, though, I somehow managed to pick out my dream dress...
I picked out our cake, the topper, the flowers, the photographer...and all the millions of other details that I'm sure my fiance' was just as glad to stay out of and leave all to me!

My mom did go with me for dress fittings, meetings with florists, ect. But mainly she was just there for moral support- the decisions were all up to me. Which was both good and bad.

And did I mention I had to do it all in four short months?

Actually, this wasn't as stressful as you might think.
Some couples differ or even argue over everything from invitations to fruit punch...
Not the case with us. I got to make all the choices.
His job was to fly in and show up on the appointed day with the ring and wearing his tux.
(OK, I exaggerate just a tad...)

But truth be told, there was a bit of an interesting challenge trying to find things for my wedding in time...at the right price...and that I actually liked.

Oh, there were a few times that I secretly wished we weren't counting the pennies.
For example, after the most important things to me were picked out, I was forced to cut corners...one of them being the decorating of the church. I could only afford real flowers for my bouquet and our wedding party...but the church had to be donned with artificial flowers. Deep inside, I was a little disappointed at the outcome...but I reminded myself that what happened on this day was more important than any superficial surroundings.

I had hired a photographer, but the camcorders were covered...we had both the best man's wife and one of his brothers each bringing one for our big event.
Or so I thought.

Finally, our day arrived.
Right before my two dear bridal attendants were about to make their entrance, we found out that both- both- of these camcorders were forgotten.
One of my attendants and dear friend that she is caught my falling expression before it hit the floor and quickly said anything and everything she could think of to not let it spoil the moment for me. (It worked, bless her heart!)

(Minutes before the ceremony...my quick thinking friend, D. is on the left as they practice "their walk".)

I should add that my husband-to-be and I saw one another only once during our engagement period due to the miles of distance between us.
So when my moment arrived, and I began my slow walk in my dreamed-of flowing gown, it was the first time he had seen me in an entire two months.

Now, some brides relish their walk, regally smiling at everyone as they slowly walk on their father's arm.
My mom had offered to walk me down the isle, but as much as I loved her, I was more of a traditionalist, so I was to go it alone. (Yes, Mom...if I had to do it over...)

As I walked those first couple steps all alone in my flowing white gown, I remember feeling more than a bit of stage fright...
I wasn't thinking of the flowers (or lack thereof) nor the fact that our ceremony wouldn't be captured on film. And I was especially not I jittery about marriage itself.

But nevertheless, my bouquet probably trembled as I walked in step to The Wedding March.
The blur of faces seemed to not even be smiling at me, but looking back I know it was more due to my nervousness that made it appear so.

But then I dared to look up into the face of my beloved, whom I hadn't seen in months and who I was now about to pledge my undying love.
When I saw him beaming down at me as he stood on the platform, I couldn't help but beam in return.
I knew I could make it the rest of the way if I kept my eyes on him and the way he was looking at me...
And as he stepped down to take my arm, the rest of the room faded completely from view...


I can't help now but think of the hidden meaning that took place in this ceremony. No wonder God designed marriage as a symbol of Christ and the Church!
If we just keep our eyes on Him in the midst of life's trials or fears- and even see a glimpse of the way He lovingly sees us- all us will begin to fade a bit from our view.


My earthly groom can still make my heart beat faster.
But unlike Christ, he is only human- complete with human failings. And so am I.
So it's a day-to-day process of accepting and forgiving...


And occasionally stepping away from the hectic pace of life and going back in time together...back to that incredible day when we looked into one another eyes after time and distance had kept us apart, and took our vows to always love, honor and cherish...

When all we could see was each other.

Marriage Monday...My most romantic Valentine's Day

Yes, it's been a week since I last posted. Partly just being busy...and then the flu got me!
I'm on the mend, but on Saturday I was pretty much in bed all day. I kept thinking of that Cosby show episode where he and his wife were both sick with some awful strain of flu and couldn't move out of that bed even for water.
Cliff announced, "My hair hurts."
That was me.
Thankfully, I'm much better but I spent Super bowl Sunday hibernating in my bedroom getting some more rest and watching chick flicks like "Sense and Sensibility". I so love that movie! So romantic...which kind of brings me to subject below.

(And I know, I know...I missed the best Super bowl in years!)

Today is Marriage Monday, hosted by Chrysalis.
The topic is either: Top Ten Tips For the Ultimate Valentine's Celebration or My Most Memorable Valentine's Day Ever.

When I was planning my wedding thirteen years ago, there was a part of me that refused to believe that marriage would be anything but one long, endless dip into the pool of romance.
Oh, I was not some very young girl...I was over 30.
And this single gal even watched all the Oprah shows on marriage and relationships, so logically I knew that marriage took some work.

But I also had been watching those old romantic movies since I was twelve, so when the time of my wedding actually finally came, those stars in my eyes told me that my groom and I would somehow be different than every other couple on the planet.
And in my mind's eye, my fiance would now be my Gene Kelly, dancing around with an umbrella even on those rainy days of life.

Well, enter reality.

Although my husband has many wonderful qualities, he can also have his bad days, act grouchy, simply forget to be romantic, and wash the cold-water only whites with the darks.

And singing and tap dancing? I don't think so.

Besides, the lack of romance sometimes isn't all due to him. Sometimes being a mommy simply zaps any sense of hearts and flowers right out of me, especially at the end of a tiring day.

So when Valentines' Day comes along, as any couple with young children can attest to, even if you're -somehow- feeling some energy by evening, finding alone time can be a bit of a challenge.

But last year, was an exception.
Valentine's Day happened to fall on a night when both of our girls were at Awana. I had told him all I wanted was a to exchange our cards and dance with him to my new Tony Bennett CD.
He obliged...and it turned out to be so incredibly romantic for both of us.
Even though our time was limited to a stolen ninety minutes, it made us feel for that evening just as if we were falling in love again.

It was truly my most romantic Valentine's Day...and I posted about it when it happened here.

No, marriage isn't one long dance in the rain...but it can be romantic if we make time for one another.

And a little Tony Bennett doesn't hurt.

Marriage Monday

Today, I'm participating in Marriage Monday, hosted by Chrysalis.


Want this button?
And the subject is not an easy one...Submission.

In fact, the title is officially called, "Submission is a decision, not a d*rty word!"

(Be sure to stop at Chrysalis place to find other participants in today's discussion. Plus, she has posted a video of pairs ice dancing- a beautiful visual of submission in practice!)

I certainly don't pretend to have it altogether, nor do I have a perfect marriage, even though I'm married to a great guy, and a Christian, to boot.
But I honestly don't always act the way I should, and neither does my husband. But we do love God with all of our hearts, and we love each other.
So, even though we're far from perfect, these are my personal views on this certain word called submission. They may not be everyone's view, but they are mine in as much as I can understand God's Word on the subject.



In today's culture, the idea of a wife submitting to her husband is not something kindly looked upon. The very concept even makes some people irate...or at the very least, has them shaking them heads, feeling sorry for the poor misguided wife who could belittle herself in this way.

So it is no wonder that so many of us as Christian women have a hard time with this concept!
And I admit it. There have been times when I have too. (OK, sometimes I still do!)

But maybe this is because so many of us have been confused about the real meaning of submission as it is described in the Bible.
Perhaps, we have interpreted the word "submission" to mean something less than wonderful...even degrading, in a sense.

Let's look at God's Word for a moment, in context...

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
Ephesian 5:22-24

Although some would cringe at the thought that the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of our church, stop for a moment and think what this actually means.

Take a look at the very next passage of Scripture...

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
Ephesians 5:25-28

Christ, Who is the Head of the Church, loved with such sacrificial love...even unto death.
And though our husbands aren't necessarily called to physically die for us, they are called to "die unto self" for us. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church."
That's a pretty tall order!

Think of it. God is telling our husbands that they are to love us sacrificially, protect us, and put us above all else. A huge responsibility!
And I can certainly see how much easier it is to obey the command to being submissive if the role of the husband is obeyed as God intended!

Does this give us an excuse not to obey God in the area of submission when they are sometimes being a little less than loving?

Obviously, if there is physical abuse of any kind, this is not the kind of "submission" God is talking about!

But otherwise, we are called to obey God in our marriage and fulfill "our end of the deal" even when our husbands aren't loving us at their very best.

But what does "submission" really mean? Does it mean letting them make all the decisions?
Personally, I don't think so. I believe that God made the woman a helpmate and a partner in life. And the verse leading up to wives submitting to their husbands admonishes us to
"Submit to one another."
If we are praying wives, than we have a lot of God-given wisdom. And a wise husband will want to take counsel in us!

But what if your husband doesn't listen to you?

My husband will be the first (OK, the second...) to admit, that there have been a few times in our married life that God has perhaps given me wisdom in a situation, but at the time, my dear sweet hubby was so fixated on his idea that hearing anything to the contrary just made him frustrated.
And he didn't listen.
And he wished later he had.

Am I always right? Uh...no. Admittedly, I am not.
And so, on the other hand, how many times have I made a huge deal over the tiniest thing which was of no real consequence at all, instead of graciously submitting on it? Was my "winning" actually worth it?

Here is one more thought that has helped me immensely with this whole sensitive topic of submission:
We often think of the person who is doing the submitting as the "lesser" person. But wait...
Think about Jesus when he walked among us. What kind of role did He model for us? Didn't He actually become the Servant of all, even though He left His Heavenly place in Heaven to do so?

When I think of Jesus showing us all that it's best to seek to serve each other, than it puts this concept of submitting into a whole new light for me.

I don't believe wives are without authority. We are to be in charge of many aspects of life...just read Proverbs 31!
But life can get chaotic with two partners with the exact same authority. And when tough decisions need to be made and there's an impasse, someone needs to have the final say.

And if that someone is loving his wife, seeking her counsel, putting her needs above his, and seeking God's will as he leads, then that's when a true picture of marriage in the way God intended begins to emerge.
Because an earthly husband and wife are really a symbol of Christ and His Church. We are all the Bride of Christ.

My husband and I have a long way to go before we are any where near this ideal picture of submission and unselfish love. But with God's grace and power working in us, we can move just a little closer to this goal.

“ "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.'This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church."
Ephesians 5:31-32

Dusting off that Rice...

Because my 12th wedding anniversary is coming up in 12 days...

(Edited to add my little link in #1!)

A Marriage\Wedding Meme

1. Where/How did you meet?
We met on a blind date. We use to be so embarrassed to admit the details about this, but the whole story can be found here.

2. How long have you known each other?
We met on August 14th, 1993.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?
Um...0 seconds flat. It was a blind date, after all!

4. How long did you date before you were engaged?
16 months.

5. How long was your engagement?
4 months...He was in the Navy and home on Leave when he officially proposed in December of '94. I had four months to plan a wedding- pretty much by all by myself- since he was in Tennessee during this time.

6. How long have you been married?
12 years on the 22nd!

7. What is your anniversary?
April 22, 1995

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?
I had to put together a wedding on a shoestring budget, so it was a fairly small affair. I'm not sure, but think it was around 100 or so.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?
A beautiful blue and white 2-tiered cake...

10. Where was your wedding?
Close to Salem, Oregon

11. What did you serve for your meal?
You know, I honestly can't remember this detail! I know there were some nibbles, though!

12. How many people were in your wedding party?
Only two groomsmen, two bridal attendants

13. Are you still friends with them all?
All except for my husband's friend, whom we simply lost contact with and we all moved too many times.
14.Did your spouse cry during the ceremony?
He's not a crier...but he completely beamed!

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?
Because he was staying in Tennessee, we hadn't seen each other in almost two months...until I walked down the isle.

16.Any funny moments?
Well...one of them's a bit funny now...see next question:

17. Any big disasters?
a. Apparently no one saw this but me...when the groom and I were holding our candles preparing to light the Unity candle, the flame touched my veil, still over my face. It started smoldering, and of course....I'm feeling a touch of panic and embarrassment as I somehow extinguish the would-be flame. I glanced at my bridesmaids...they didn't have a clue. They told me later that they didn't even see it at all!

b. Another thing that happened was that my husband's father was late showing up...we held the ceremony up for him, and was just about to go ahead when he came in. He was in ill-health so I couldn't get mad at him! But it was a cause for more bridal anxiety.

c.The third disaster was that we supposedly had someone bringing hubby's camcorder, and another friend bringing a second one as back-up. Both people forgot them...I found this out just as we were getting ready to go down the isle! After feeling disappointed for a moment, my bridesmaids quickly did their duty and cheered me up just before their music started.

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon?
No honeymoom...but we did drive to the Oregon coast.

19. How long were you gone?
Um...one night. One quick, fleeting little night before I had to take him to the airport the next day. He would fly back south, then on to Virginia where he'd secure our first apartment. So no husband for ten days following the wedding! Then, after ten long days, I was on a plane, flying clear across the country from my family and friends to start a new life!

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?
I would be a little more adamant (in a nice way, of course) about what people would do and not do. I was just a little too mousy about it all.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Left, but I'm thinking of shaking things up a bit and making hubby trade.

22. What size is your bed?
Queen...(But don't get me started on our horrible sleep number mattress!)

On our 10th anniversary in Maui




23. Greatest strength as a couple?
We forgive each other when we fail.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple? We're both stubborn!

25. Who literally pays the bills?
When hubby was in the Navy, I did it all...but he's done it now for years.

26. What is your song? The theme of the movie we saw on our blind date. The movie was "Sleepless in Seattle" and the song is "If I fall in Love..."


27. What did you dance your first dance to?
I'm ashamed to say I don't remember for sure...The reception was SO informal that we only danced a bit for the photographer. But I think it was the song just mentioned.

28. Describe your wedding dress:
Dipped neckline with see-through lace above and high collar. It "poofed" out just a little, like the Cinderella dress in my storybooks, and had a small train.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?
Pink and white with baby's breath.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?
Just my husband's.

31. How old were you when you got married?
I was 32- he was 34. And worth the wait!

In the rushing around of everyday life, it's so good to remember the beginnings of love. What brought us together...and that very special day when we promised God and one another to love each other for always.

So...I tag anyone who wants to do this meme!