Don't Mind Me...I'm just going through my Awkward Stage

Recently, my friend, Morning Glory along with Lei have started a new writing forum with varying topics called "Woman to Woman." Their first topic was called "In this Skin" and though I didn't actually participate, it was a subject near and dear to my heart.

I'm beginning to think it's not puberty that is the real awkward age for us girls...
No. It's the early forties. (OK...maybe mid-forties.)

Especially when for most of our lives we have looked relatively young- or at least liked to think so. Suddenly, we are looking not so young anymore...yet, not quite old enough to be receiving senior discounts. And we don't know what to do with ourselves.

Such an awkward age.

Yesterday, I went shopping with my little girls. (Thankfully, being an older mommy, I have never been told what cute "grandkids" I have. For that, I am extremely grateful.)
But with age comes that metabolism thing...I'm not sure the medical term, but it's commonly called, "The Dressing Room Blues."
It's that syndrome where you try on clothes sizes that you use to wear, only to scream, cry and whimper.

But yesterday, I was too smart for that, and reached for clothes that I knew might possibly work on this post-par tum, pre-menopausal mama. I also picked out something each for the girls to try on.
I'm not ashamed to say, that as a one-income, home schooling family, we're on a strict budget. But Kmart (yes, K-mart!) was having a huge sale, and since I rarely shop for new clothes for myself anymore, I was feeling giddy reaching for Jacqueline Smith tags fresh off the rack.
"Come on, girls...let's go try these on...and let me know which ones look best on me."

My girls, apparently having the universal female shopping gene, seemed thrilled at this rare opportunity as we found our little dressing room and tried on our finds.
When I modeled one of the tops, however, my seven year old took it upon herself to inform me that I "looked pregnant in that one".

"Hmmm...I don't want to look pregnant, honey," I said, steadfastly keeping a brave smile on my face.

"Sorry Mommy... but you do."

I only felt slightly better when moments later, she informed her four year old sister that she, too, looked pregnant in her blouse.

After picking out my clothes (and choosing the non-pregnant top) we paid for our purchases and headed to the grocery store. All went well, until a lovely woman, in her early 60's, exclaimed to me,
"You look just like my sister!"
She seemed like a very sweet woman, and truly, I wasn't actually offended. To know you have a "twin" out there is always an interesting concept.
But I kept waiting for her to add adjectives like " my Baby sister" or perhaps..."my little sister who is actually young enough to be my daughter." Or even, "My sister who was my mom's mid-life surprise baby that came when I was already married and had three children...you're so young and cute like her, I just want to pinch your cheeks!"

She did say something I was unable to hear...so I'm hoping that must have been it. Yep, I'm sure of it...I'd stake my Oil of Olay on in it!

So, all in all, I'm finding the forties a truly awkward age.
I think by the time you reach your fifties, you began to embrace your new kind of beauty and wisdom. You begin to feel more comfortable in who you are.

But I'll be honest- I'm just not there, yet. This in-between stage is strangely unpleasant. But then, change almost always is difficult.
In a few short years, my blossoming daughters will be going through their own awkward changes and perhaps mourning their own fading childhood along the way, just as- let's face it- I'm mourning not being 25 anymore.

But I know there's more to this whole thing than just the negative...I just need to find the positive. I know it's in there somewhere...if I just look a little harder. I think I see glimpses of it now and then....

Maybe, if I just broke down and bought those reading glasses, I'd see it more clearly.
But no...that would make me look like I'm in my forties, so I'll just try and squint real hard and maybe it will turn up.