As we approach the Christmas season, I just wanted to follow up on some thoughts I had mentioned in my last post relating to facing Christmas with...shall we say....financial challenges this year. But this won't be a post of helpful hints- but rather, a journal of my hopes for using this situation for good.
Not that we personally have anything to complain about. We feel completely blessed to have taken a trip to Hawaii, in spite of some of the things that went ary. It was completely our choice to spend our money this way...but as parents, my husband and I worry just a tiny bit over whether our young children will understand and grasp that Hawaii was part of our family Christmas gift, so to speak. Or that the new puppy coming this weekend is also an early gift.
Will they feel somehow denied, if the tower of packages is a bit shorter than it was last year?
Deep down, I don't really think so. But I also think this so-called financial disadvantage might be acually a blessing in disguise. What better time than this, to try to focus in on the real meaning of Christmas.
I know that phrase gets overused a lot, but nevertheless, it's a fact that what we are suppose to be celebrating gets lost in the shuffle of endless commercials for the newest animatronic dolls or the latest version of new hot video game. Not to mention all of the other many ways that the message of Christmas can be easily missed amongst the hustle and noise of the "celebrations".
I think this is my chance. To take a seemingly frustrating situation, where most of our money is already spent, and try to turn it around in a positive way.
I suspect that most of you reading this would echo my desire to re-focus a bit more on the "real" Christmas, no matter what your current financial status is. And I guess, many of us, no matter how pure our motives, will fall a bit short. I know that I will. But I think it helps to have goals.
So what do I want to focus in on with my children this Christmas?
1) The most important significance behind the holiday is that God sent His only Son for us. I want my children to find tangible ways to make the celebration of Christ's birth special to them.
2) I want our family to think more readily about others less fortunate, and to be the Hands of Jesus where we can. Even if it is simply ministering to the residents at a retirement home by making crafts and singing carols with them.
3) I want my children to remember those simple pleasures at Christmastime. Baking goodies, decorating the house with Christmas music blaring, and snuggling with us as we listen to our audio tapes of the Cinnamon Bear or watching Rudolph.
Although we've never been well-off financially by any means, we have been accidently guilty of buying too much for the kids in previous years. The downfall would be that my husband and I would buy some things separately, and then low and behold, the girls would be raking in quite a haul on Christmas morning...and we'd somehow be as surprised as they were!
But you know...we always noticed that by the end of the unwrapping, their eyes were glazed over and the appreciation grew small. It always made us a little sad, as well as a bit guilty.
This year, we are forced to plan more carefully...and that is a good thing.
I keep remembering that episode of Little House in the Prairie where the Ingall girls thought they wouldn't be receiving gifts that year due to a blizzard. And then, Mr. Edwards (who has seen Santa) gives them their gifts: A juicy orange, a large peppermint stick and a shiny new cup...their eyes are shining with gratitude and wonder. This episode always touched me deeply, inspiring me to want to cultivate even more an attitude of Thanksgiving.
My children are still mightily blessed. They will still be receiving much more than what the Ingalls girls received. Yet, my hope is that with our limited spending this year, we will all be a little more free to focus on the most important meaning behind Christmas while savoring all the special feelings that surround the season.
This is my hope and my prayer. Because while some of the toys openned on Christmas morning are soon pushed aside and forgotten, it is the memories of substance which remains.
"For unto you is born this day,in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: you will find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." ~Luke 2:11-12
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17 comments:
I agree whole-hearted with you! We do the same and the kids are so overwhelmed with stuff that they really have no real appreciation for any of it! I want to give them a REAL Christmas full of meaning and memories -- NOT STUFF! Oh, just to find the right balance!
I agree 100%. I can assure you when my daughters look at Christmases past they remember the feeling, not the gifts or how many there were. Christmas will be as special as you make it for your children. I wish I had lots of money and could just shower everyone with gifts. I love to give gifts. But I can't do it this year and my family knows it. They also know that Christmas will be special becaue we're together. That's all that matters.
What an excellent post, Tammy! You know I can only name a couple of the toys and gifts that I got as a child but I sure could tell you memory after memory of the friends and family celebrations and going to church at midnight. It's the memories! When Sandra did the Christmas traditions link, someone had the tradition of each child only getting 3 gifts each to represent the 3 gifts that the wisemen gave. I thought that was such a great idea to help keep it under control and the focus onto the reason we have Christmas.
Yes yes! I love what you've said here. My husband and I buy each of the children one nice gift and treats for their stocking. They also get presents from two sets of grandparents and my sister's family. I feel like we've struck a good balance.
My husband has a large extended family back home that were used to having several Christmas celebrations and exchanging gifts. Even with drawing names and a $25.00 spending limit it was crazy. One year we decided that we would only be buying gifts for the children in the family from now on. There were a couple of ruffled feathers but most people were actually relieved and now everyone does this.
One more thing, lol! We celebrate advent in the weeks leading up to Christmas, and it's a great way to put the focus on the celebrations of Christ's birth. The children love this tradition.
Tammy, this is one of the best posts you've ever written. It's hard to not want to buy everything for our children, but you are so right about the gratitude and the reason for celebrating.
I bet I'll be making my way back here to read this again before the season is over.
Excellent and timely thoughts! We had very little money when we were kids, but I don't remember ever feeling deprived.
Yes. This is something we strive for every year. I know I always fall short. I think that kids will always remember what they gave others at Christmas and will most likely forget what they were given.
As parents, we always tend to want to give our children whatever they want and that's where our downfall is...a lot of children appreciate the QUANTITY of presents under the tree instead of QUALITY! It's very sad, because the true meaning of Christmas seems to have been lost in many households. I, too, remember that Little House on the Prairie episode and I always wished it could be like that everywhere!!
You are so right about being sure
the girls understand the true meaning of Christmas. I don't think I ever told you about this, but one year during the Depression, we received a big box from some charitable donation which contained food fo course, but also used Toys. I think there were dolls but the toy I remember most was a toy Scottie Dog, which of course both my sis & I wanted. I think she got it but we both played with it. Little as we were though we knew the toys weren't new but were still appreciated. I am glad that new toys are given these days so a child knows they are the first to play with it & have more of a feeling of it being their special toy.
ruth
Food for thought... *Delicious!*
I think you are on to something...big. You might just find out in future years, even if you haven't done Christmas early like this year...that this is, indeed, a good thing. We have also been guilty of over spending/buy/giving, etc. and I have noticed that my children just get tired of opening things and really seem to desire to sit down with one thing and focus/play with that. This year we have scaled back on the Christmas Gift Fest. just because we believe we have allowed it go get out of hand and have lost any vague sense of why we do it in the 1st place. Good for your family and I know it will be a very good year!
I love this post! I am looking for something a little more lasting this year--fewer presents and more connecting and memory making.
Tammy, it is always so good to refocus on our Christmas celebrations. My mother always worked hard to delight us on Christmas morning. I loved it. That is my goal also, not to buy a huge amount but to touch each child's "delight" button. This will remind us once again of the great love of our Heavenly Father. It gets much more difficult as my kids get older, so I must become more creative.
Great post Tammy! As others have said, when looking back, it's not the gifts I remember at all. It's the wonderful memories of being with my family and the traditions we had.
That's the most wonderful gift you can give your children.
:)
My girls are looking forward to their advent calendars, decorating the tree and setting up the manger underneath. They love making cookies, and going to the Christmas Eve church service, where the children put on a play. Then dinner with family and goodies we've made together. Santa brings just one present, and there will be a few others under the tree from family. We are trying to keep Christmas focused on the birth of Jesus, not presents.
We have two of our three kids and their spouses, and a baby coming for Christmas. A baby boy - how precious is that at Christmas! I could care less about presents, cant even think of anything I want, but am so looking forward to Christmas Eve service together, driving to see the lights, building fires, all those simple things. The material stuff we wont remember next year anyway.
Wonderful post and so true to the heart! My most cherished memories are of those with our loving family all gathered together in celebration of our dear Lord Jesus Christ's birth. It was all about stringing popcorn and cranberries, making and decorating Christmas cookies. Singing Christmas carols...counting our blessings and being grateful for love, laughter, and happiness and good health! Life is just so precious! Being grateful for meeting and becoming friends with sweet people like you! :)
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