But yesterday, she entertained us with a big ole meltdown.
Both girls have had colds- and no wonder after being drenched Saturday in the pouring rain! (See post below). Not only that, but their whole weekend was pretty full, and yesterday was a dental appointment. So my almost eight year old actually took a nap this afternoon.
But did my five year old? No, she did not.
Funny, I had just picked up a Parenting magazine in the dental waiting room and read how some moms always use the "tantrum room". When their little one is crying and screaming, the child must take it to "the room".
While my oldest has been more of the drama queen, her tantrums are now few and far between.
And my little one? She might get whiny when she's tired, but not really one for any out and out tantrums...
Ho hum, I thought, putting the magazine down.
Five hours later, my youngest was doing quite well without her nap. While her oldest sister blissfully slept, Lil Cherub and I were having some magical time together- just the two of us- as she told me a story and I wrote it down for her so she could make a book.
It was just like one of those N*stle Tollhouse commercials, only without the cookies...
Suddenly...the book we were making wasn't right. Suddenly....according to my little sweetheart, it was ALL WRONG.
It started out -not slowly-but like a tidal wave of pent up exhaustion and emotion as she exploded with a real, authentic, honest to goodness melt-down.
My oldest came downstairs to witness the commotion, while she herself remained angelic, having just had her beauty sleep.
Meanwhile, I actually remained very calm (I surprised myself!)
Finally recalling the "tantrum room technique"I had read about only hours before, I gently placed her on the stairs and informed her she must go upstairs to scream and cry, but if she wanted to remain down here, she must now be quiet. After much deliberation (read: arguing and wailing) she finally trudged upstairs.
As I went about fixing dinner, I was shocked to hear my normally sweet five year old screaming that "tantrum scream" at the top of her little lungs, as I forced myself to continue my tasks and take deep breaths...
Moments later, she emerged from upstairs without a sound...as she calmly said,
"I'm done crying and screaming and ready to be downstairs, Mommy."
As I stood in numb silence, she turned sat down by her sister, and said to her,
"Sorry for screaming..." then to me, "I'm sorry, Mommy."
I can count on one hand the times when my littlest had tantrums of this magnitude...they are just plain rare! But this one scored a 5.2 on the rictor scale.
But it was also some kind of record in how my little volcano vented and returned to her old sweet self. And enough to melt my heart at her sincere little contrite heart.
And enough to make me wished I had soaked myself in Calgon.
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I can guarantee that we could use a tantrum room at our house. They are few and far between, but when they hit...watch out.
Glad she returned to her sweet self.
It was probably the only way she knew to get her feelings out. How coincidental that you had just read about the tantrum room! (Hope you had a nice soak in Calgon after they went to bed!)
xo
Everybody has a bad day once in awhile. Glad to hear she is learning how to keep it in perspective. The tantrum room is a great idea. We had a "happy spot". The idea was that while you were sitting on that spot you could cry yourself happy. And it worked every time.
I can relate. You told the story so well. It was fun to read. I do hate it though when a nice moment (like the story writing) is interrupted by attitude! =).
Hope today is going well so far!
Oh, my. The poor little darling was probably exhausted! I am impressed by the change of spirit when she emerged from "the room."
You younger moms get all those wonderful suggestions as to how to handle things like tantrums. I wish that I would have had that when you were growing up since like all kids, you did have a few tantrums, & usually it was the result of being over tired. How great that she was able to return to her usual sunny nature, & my oldest G.D. was able to get the sleep she needed. I believe that most tantrums are the result of being overtired. Love them both, tantrums & all.
My boys didn't have many tantrums when they were young but when they did, they were doozies! lol I would send them to their room and tell them they could do their screaming and crying in there and when they were done, they could come out again. It never lasted very long:-) You handled your daughter well and she handled herself well after her tantrum...hopefully no more for a long while now! hehe xox
I am really impressed by the way you handled your younger daughter's tantrum. But even more so, I am impressed by the way she was able to calm herself down and return to you and apologize. What a nice big girl she is.
It seems like every child will do this at some point or another...sounds like you handled it ok!
And she apologized, very nice!
Today, for the first time in a million years, I had to discipline Girly-Girl. She colored on a table at church. Actually, she played an entire game of tic-tac-toe on the white table with crayons.
We'd had several children at our homeschool meeting, so I asked, "Who in the world colored on the table like this?"
Girly-Girl said, "I don't kno---I'M SORRY!"
I didn't yell, but I was quite shocked and said, "Shame on you! You know better!" That was all it took.
She sobbed all the way through the clean-up. Her coconspirator, Mr. But-I-couldn't-help-myself AKA (when that excuse didn't fly) Mr. I-didn't-want-to-disappoint-Girly-Girl (Sounds remarkably like, "It was Eve's fault!" That excuse was also met with disapproval.), also sobbed quite convincingly as they scrubbed.
Then we told them:
A. Don't do it again. Be good stewards, etc
and
B. You are forgiven.
The tears instantly dried up and they both enjoyed their ice cream sandwiches guilt free.
Then there was the time Funsocksgirl had a MAJOR temper tantrum. She was 12. No...I'd rather not talk about that one!
I thought I heard something... LOL
A very good sign of character when a young one can say I'm sorry.
Susan
You did a great job Mom. I think you handled it very well. And she came through like a little trouper. I must admit there are days I'd like to find a tantrum room and just have a huge fit. Just think how refreshing it would be to just let it all out. Not vey mature - but very refreshing:-)
I can remember when my very complacent little boy suddenly threw himself on the floor and had a tantrum. I just looked at him in absolute astonishment. It was as though someone had given him a temporary personality transplant. He, like your little one, didn't do it often, but when he did it was best to just walk away and let him "vent".
Great post Tammy.
Congratulations on keeping *YOUR* cool! It's very hard to do, I know. That is so sweet that she apologized. I love it!
What a great story. Both of the girls have their moments. Feisty will cry and cry (she's 3) and then when she's done, she'll say, "I'm happy now, Grandma." So cute.
When my DS 2 was two, he used to throw some real doozies. He'd throw himself under our dining room table and scream. We called it, "his pouting room". We pretty much ignored him until it passed and he'd come out "refreshed".
Glad all returned to normal later on.
:-) Susan
Oh yes, the tantrum room. Ours is the half bath off the family room. My son never had to go in much - but my daughter gets in there occasionally. She's my drama queen! I'm so happy to hear that your little one came out and said sorry! :)
Aha, I like that! I usually tell my kids, this is mommy's happy space (I need my space!) and if you want to be happy here ok, if not, go to your room and don't return until you are happy again. And you were calm, neat!
You're such a great mom! :)
Well, I suppose that's one of the "blessings" of parenting. Tantrums can be so hard on Moms.
Seems like "tantrums" came on about once/week even as my daughter grew into her teens. On Friday nights, she just needed me to stay calm, while she vented about her week. She still needs Mom's special listening ear on occasion as a young adult! I guess we learn how to be "lay therapists" through our kids. How's this: Mommy, PhD
Hugs! :~)
Wow that's encouraging. How sweet that she said she was sorry so sincerely.
Yes. We send our youngest to his room to cry and scream all he wants. Somehow, having the door closed makes him scream and cry even louder. He wants to make sure we hear him no matter what!
Haven't heard from you lately, so wondering how you're doing!
Our tantrum years are over. But trantrum just transforms into something else in teen years!
Ha!
Sandy
For Reluctant Entertainers
It will get better and in every tantrum a less is learned, just ask my daughter who is a single mother and has been in the tantrum room.
ROFLOL! Back up to the "Ho hum," for just a minute. Did that moment come complete with an eerie, menacing soundtrack? It should have.
Sounds like she recovered well, though. And God. bless. you. for holding it together! :) Not even a chuckle? An incredulous raise of the eyebrows?
That's where I'd have been lost, only to make her cry harder. And louder. Ugh.
I had one that would not back down. it was tough.
(ps. my husband was the sailor 1967!)
I didn't mean to put pressure on you to comment! I can't believe you're still in school, though I read Groovy Lady who is still teaching as well.
It's 4:30 a.m. and I'm about to write about Grandma's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Night. I have to put off my blogiversary post one more day and get this down. Come over if you have a minute - no pressure!
Hey Tammy, sorry I haven't been by for awhile. Just dropping by to say hi.
Have a fabulous weekend.
Take care, Meow
Wow! That was an exciting day for you. I know you are glad that the tantrums are few and that this one ended so well.
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