Cuz Ken

Today, October 30th, I'm remembering someone special from my childhood...



Kenny was not a chubby, cuddly little boy. Some might say he was even kind of a strange looking kid. All arms and legs, tall and gangly.


The youngest of three boys, born each a year apart, he quickly passed his big brothers up in height. However, this didn't stop the eldest from keeping his place in line as big brother and making sure Kenny knew it!


I relished my time with my three boy cousins. Being an only child could be a bit lonely, so during our visits I could feel as though they were all my big brothers for a little while.

For a time, Kenny was my favorite. He was sweet, very funny and extremely smart...and at just four years older, he was the closest to my age, making him a bit easier to play with!


As he grew older, it was no longer Kenny he wanted to be called, but Ken.
But in my childhood bedtime prayers, "God bless Kenny" still would come out.

And a funny thing about this tall boy that didn't exactly look the same as others...didn't have typical features that would be considered handsome. He kept his self-confidence...and exuded such personality, charm, wit and intelligence, that he actually became very popular among his peers.

In fact, I was there as he gave the valedictorian speech at his high school graduation.

Sometimes, when I was in my late teens, he would send me little cards out of the blue. Here is one I received from him about the time I was 18...


He always signed his cards, "Cuz Ken", and this one was no exception.

A few years later, when I was staying with a friend who was going to college, and trying to figure out what I wanted to do in life, he also was attending the same college.
He'd come over to hang out with us, and when he soon started dating someone special, he was so excited to have me meet her. I was flattered, especially when he had told me that she reminded him a little of me!

But then, he sort of disappeared from my life. Well, not sort of... Completely.
He didn't marry that girl, but moved to California...married another woman and became a step-dad...and began a life as an entrepreneur in the world of internet business.

For nearly 20 years, I never heard from Ken, and I wondered if I had somehow offended him in some way that I didn't understand.

Sometimes I would hear updates on him, mostly from my aunt. And one year, some time after I was married, I learned he had been hospitalized and endured open-heart surgery. It had been determined that he suffered from Marfan Syndrome, which accounted for his long, lanky arms and legs, and in turn, affected his heart.

Thankfully, I heard that he recovered from the close call that year.

Finally, the day came when I would be seeing Ken again.

The ironic thing was that when I had last seen him I had been back in 1983. I had been 20, and it was at his brother's wedding.
Now, after 19 years, I was finally seeing my cousin again...
At the same brother's second wedding!

When he saw me at the outdoor reception, he came right over and we embraced.

He met my husband for the first time, my little three year old daughter and our new two month old baby girl.

There is a poignant photo of the two of us talking...I searched all over but I wasn't able to find it.

However, here he is with his family on that day...
My aunt (mom's sister) her husband (their dad passed away in the early 80's) and my three cousins.

And the only one of us together that I could find, was this one that somebody snapped, just as he was looking down, I think, to peer at my baby in her carrier.

I don't remember how long we talked...but I just remember that it did my heart good to connect with him again...to know he still liked his "little cousin", in spite of the two decades that had slipped past us.

Then, just three years later, my aunt called. He had been rushed by ambulance after he collapsed, while actually taking a break from his high-power business day to buy a cup of coffee for a homeless man.
I remember praying for him...I knew he had gotten a bit caught up in the things of this world, but as a child he had accepted Christ. So I prayed not only for his physical heart, but for God to speak to his spiritual heart with His gentle voice.

My aunt and other cousin rushed to California...he was able to speak and even weakly joke with them.

But then, I received another call.
Ken was gone.

As I was thinking about him the other day, I googled his name, only to find out that he was even more successful in the business world than I suspected. He was one of the founders on the ground floor of the internet business...and there were websites mourning his passing, telling of how much they learned from and how willing he was to freely share his knowledge.

There was even a video for sale where he spoke on keys to success on the internet...I clicked on it and there I was, hearing his voice again.




It was amazing and sad all at once to see him, knowing he was gone.
It also reminds me of no matter how successful we are in this world, it is only temporal. This life can be so fleeting!

Funny, how someone can stay in a special place in your heart....even though time and distance separated you for so many years.

For me, there will always be that special little corner reserved for the cousin that was sometimes like a big brother to me, took me with him on a double date, and sent me Snoopy cards.
And I miss him.

In memory of Ken
June,1957- October 30th, 2005