Maybe I had too many advils today due to a headache...but I felt like waxing philosophical tonight!
(*Edited at the end)
I have recently been introduced to the joys of Facebook. As if I didn't already spend enough time on the computer through blogging!
I am trying to manage my time, though...and now that we've started schooling full force again after Christmas break, I don't have nearly enough time to fritter away. (I think that's my new favorite word...)
But there is something compelling about mingling with friends...and friends of friends...and friends you thought you'd forgotten...and names and faces you barely know but you went to school with their brother's cousin and there they are, wanting to be your facebook friend!
And why is it so intriguing for us to read what everyone is "doing right now"?
I mean, why do I care that my cousin's sister in law is munching on crackerjacks at the moment?
But somehow I do...
I tell you I am totally drawn to it all....and so are thousands of others across the country. So, why do you think that is?
Maybe because we all need to feel "connected" to others somehow.
And the irony of this age is that the more technology has advanced, the further it has isolated us from connecting to others face to face. So perhaps our society is hungry for closeness and connection again.
So what do we do? We "virtually connect with people"...not face to face...but with facebook!
Something else that I've noticed is that most of everyone's list of friends are not really all friends at all...but acquaintances.
I know the word "friend" sounds ...well, friendlier...but it would be far more truthful to label our list "acquaintances", don't you think?
In fact, a true friend is so rare...and if you have even one in your life, you are truly blessed.
And no one...not even any earthly best friend... can compare to Jesus and Who He wants to be in our life.
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
All of this said, I still am currently drawn to Facebook...I like occasionally chatting with others that I know, or keeping up to date with them...and finding old college friends after decades. There's no denying all that can be interesting and just plain fun!
But in the meantime, hopefully I won't lose sight of two important things:
Although my list of "friends" may actually include real friends...a true friend is so much more than a name on Facebook.
And secondly, I never want to be so encased in a virtual world (facebook, blogging or even e-mail) that I forget that we were really created for giving our friends and family honest to goodness hugs, looking at one another in the eye...and smiling at those around us...
face to face.
So, what are your thoughts? Have you ever struggled with balancing computer time and cultivating face to face friendships?
*Edited to add that I wouldn't trade my blogging friends for anything...because some of you have become what I consider "true" friends!
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31 comments:
I have been told by several that I should do Facebook. I have no desire to add yet another connection to blogging. You have said it well.....we need to interact with real live flesh & blood people. I have been blessed with 3 real, true FRIENDS in my long lifetime and many acquaintes. I appreciate both and there is a place for both.
Susan
I cannot believe I am reading this today!
Praise the Lord for you Tammy!!
These thoughts have been mine all during vacation because my hubby and I both opened accounts due to our 15 year old wanting one...so..we wanted to keep tabs on what she is doing online. ANd yes, people i barely knew after graduating from HS in 1978 are wanting to be my "friend". I would MUCH rather continue my friendships face to face and find we MUST take the time to do it. Jesus met with His friends for meals, etc. It is something my husband and I want to get back to...hard to do in busy times of the school year but very doable if we committ to it. Bless you, Tammy!
I often struggle with balancing those things. I think my problem is we moved from our hometown last year where we had life-long friends. I have yet to establish a true friendship in our new town. Yes, I have met some great people, but it's hard to start over!
Since we homeschool, most of our time is spent at home. It's easy to connect with people through blogging and the other networking sites, but we do need to work on real live relationships too!
Thanks for your post - something to think about!
Blessings,
Mandy
OK, first of all, I'd LOVE to be "your friend" on Facebook!! I love it because it DOES connect and reconnect me with so many people with whom I'd lost contact over the years.
And, yes, some are acquaintances, but I think that's OK. It's a good connection and for me, a good witnessing tool as well.
But, I hear you about balance and also about cocooning (I think that's what they call it) and going all virtual and not face to face. I am really learning that BOTH are so valuable. And the key to it all is balance!!
Thanks for these thoughts, Tammy!
Big Hugs,
Susan
Welcome to facebook fun! Good thoughts Tammy. Balance is key I think. I have friends and acquaintances there but I think both are ok too and after the new wears off, it gets a bit easier to just communicate with some instead of everyone.
Oh yes, computer time eats up time and space faster than anything! I'm on Facebook, too, and it's fun but I find the constant need to regulate myself. I get caught up in the word games that are available to play.
I much prefer the human contact, however.
I am so appreciating all of your thoughts!
And Mandy, I can relate...as a home school mom we can easily find ourselves at home a lot and in need to connect through online friendships...
Let me add that I am personally a pretty shy person...making it even more tempting to keep most of my friendships behind the computer screen.
I also agree with so many of you that there is a place for virtual connections...
Balance is the key.
Keep your insight coming...
Amen to everything you said! I know people who do facebook, mostly teenagers, but somehow the adult community has seemed to hook into this community that really originally was for the younger ones. I agree face to face friendships are the best, you can make friends on the internet through blogging and other means but they really aren't "real" friends. Although I love reading some blogs I also find that once I start that I spend too much time even doing that. There are just too many other things in life that are so much more important!
we long for an old front porch. I know you better than my new neighbors. sigh.
I recently joined Facebook too at the urging of my son and daughter and a few friends. So far, I still prefer blogging, but we'll see....
Hugs!
Kat
I must admit, I have my Facebook on more than is probably healthy. But try to balance that with time with the kids. They take more time anyway. I think it's fine as long as you don't have to be on it ALL the time. A friend of mine spends hours every day on Facebook. Not good!
I'm on Facebook and found that I love the photo feature...seeing family pictures and keeping up with them because they are so far away.
I agree "friends" is probably not the correct term. It's a balance to keep but I do enjoy also people's status updates.
Hmmm.....I struggled with this all last year. I've made some changes because of it, and one is not spending so much time commenting on everything I read. I read, just don't always comment.;o)
I'm focusing more on family and friends here in my little area of the world.
Computer time is taking a much needed back seat these days.
I'd love to know you face to face in real life. I think we'd be great friends!
Blessings,
Karen
I totally love facebook. I find myself just checking in on family and friends..oh yes, those I don't really even know.
I enjoy my job and find great friends there and priceless relationships, however when I get home I love to relax and just read some blogs and send out a few comments on FB.
It's all good if it's got a balance. It's taken me some time to find that, but now that I'm there I'm thankful for the www and the ability to get to know great people like you.
If you would like to add another friend you can find me at:
Ginger Behrens, Grand Rapids MI :)
Odd th at you should say this right now - Kristen and I just got off the phone. She has connected with her best friend from high school (see two posts ago on her page), and it has brought joy to her life. I have resisted because of the time that it would take, but after hearing all of the people she has found, it makes me want to see if I could locate the "girls" that I was RA for in college - 2 years worth of freshmen. Not to mention other casual college "friends." And then the young guy who re-did my computer for me the other day told me not to do Facebook or Myspace because of potential virus hazards.
But you are so right about the friend thing - I feel closer to my blog true friends than I do people around me. I'm not sure why that is.
Me again - the other thing is that so many people I've met here in blogland seem to be replacing this with Facebook, so we don't hear from them often enough anymore. Sad.
Yes, Tammy! I definitely do find it challenging balancing computer time and well, everything else! That's one reason I have avoided facebook! lol! I have friends that have tried to talk me into it. I do blogging because I love sharing with like minded people. I love writing. It just feels good to me. However, I have had trouble lately finding time to visit around to everyone's blogs because of what you said...real life! Sometimes it's a challenge to just get mine scheduled to post! lol!
Another reason...I have stayed away from Facebook (and this may sound weird) but I know quite a few people (Christian folks too) that have innocently enough started it and before long "connected" with acquaintances of the opposite sex and then later we hear that their marriage was in trouble. For me, I just felt safer (and avoiding potential problems for my family) by blogging.
But that said, I too have so many ladies that I have developed friendships over the CS forum and blogging and I'm so thankful for it and wouldn't trade it for anything! (including you!)
Thanks for this thought provoking post!
Glad Allyson enjoyed the letter! :)
Hugs,
Tammy
Tammy,
I haved a Facebook account but certainly don't spend much time there. I do have some blogging friends on my list and also family members. I have chatted with my grandson, Jordan, and Diane from Diane's Place here in blogland and that is about it. I use Facebook to upload photos because if my computer crashes and they are there, I still have them. I learned this lesson the hard way.
When I upload photos to Facebook, other family members have access to them and sometimes take a copy. I have no objection to that.
I spend a lot of time on the computer because of my writing and maybe that is why I'd rather blog, read or do some other hobby. I do have a lot of fun talking to the boys there ocassionally.
Take care, my friend. Take time for the things you enjoy, but be careful not to get caught up in online addiction.
Blessings,
Mary
Even though I enjoyed chatting with you that one day, I much prefer blogging. I enjoy what you write & reading the comments that are left. I very seldom get that urge to write on my blog, but when I do I know I can go & put my thoughts down. I know I need to do it more because the girls ask questions & are interested in what life was like when I was a little girl during the depression.
Wise words! I did get all signed up at Facebook, and then I really haven't explored it too much. Too busy in IRL, I guess. I'm glad you're having so much fun with it! :~D
Interesting post Tammy. Christmas Day after dinner one of my nieces wanted to set me up on Facebook. I said okay but to not put my present name but my maiden name. I just can't seem to get into it, I struggle with finding the time to blog with dear friends that I have made over the past couple of years and I don't want to take time away from that. I know a lot of people that really enjoy it and have reconnected with friends from long ago so I know it can be really worthwhile but I guess it's just a time factor thing with me.
Have a wonderful weekend! xoxo
Balancing it is hard. I also am currently into Facebook. I am a single parent, add a home schooling parent and my daughter has autism. Getting out and about is hard. Sitters are far and few , very few.
I cultivate friendships online that I might not get to have otherwise.
I do have to struggle with how much time is "healthy". I have 2 hours a day to ME and I use that time to get out of the house and interact with REAL people. Winter in New England is even harder to get out. I'm in a town where I have acquaintances but I really don't have anyone I would call a true friend.
We share things in common, but they are all married and come 4pm its home preparing for hubby.
Good thoughts, thanks for sharing yours.
Balancing computer time is a constant challenge and always has been, but even more so now that I'm trying to maintain an on line shop. There just aren't enough hours in the day any more.
I've heard so much about Facebook, from my daughter, but let me tell you, what I do NOT need is yet one more thing to try to keep up with, on this computer. But Mandy has reconnected with a lot of people and she loves it.
I just recently joined Facebook only because I feel it will be easier to communicate and IM with my 21 yr. old daughter after we move to CO. (And after she moves out next week!). With pictures. I understand what you're saying tho. I was able to connect with a friend who move to Seattle and IM'd with her yesterday. I guess theirs pros and cons with it, as well as with anything. It's when my time online begins affecting my family and duties as a wife and mother that I have to pull back and get my priorities straightened out. Enough rambling!
God bless,
Brenda
I think we have all gotten to attached to technology but if it helps us to stay connected to people far away then it's a good thing.
We still should make the effort to cultivate friendships in the flesh but think of all the people you wouldn't know if you didn't blog. Finding the balance is the key but not so sure how many of us are successful. :)
I enjoy Facebook - and have found a few "lost friends". It is strange how tiny there world is with computers. Hugs to you!
I was introduced to Facebook quite a few months ago and you're right, it can become another addiction! lol Although I know that a lot of people search for old friends, classmates, etc, on it, I haven't used it for that. I have mostly relatives on mine with a few blogging friends...in fact, just in the last two days I've had 4 great nieces and 3 great nephews who have asked me to add them:-) What I find wonderful about that is that if it wasn't for Facebook, I would have no idea what was happening in their lives since they live far away and only see them maybe once a year. I know that face to face is much better but when you have no other choice, I like the connection Facebook allows us:-) I also have a few word games I like to play on it when time allows! lol Great post, dear Tammy. xoxo
Have heard a lot about face book but I have never even looked at it.... I just cannot get more involved than I am here in the blog..... no time.... but I might go and look around..... Have a blessed Sunday
I joine Facebook several months ago initially to keep up with my older nieces and nephews who are all married. Well, I rarely hear from them even on Facebook so that was futile. But I have connected with lots of neighbor ladies and people that I went to high school with...and of course some bloggers. I love little glimpses of people's lives....seeing their photos, etc. I try to check FB once a day and have had lots of fun. If you want to add me as a "friend"...I'd love it!
Tammy
I signed in on Face book during the hoildays. Like you I am struggling with to much time on the computer. I think it's all about moderation. It is nice catching up with old friends though. I hope your New Year is going great.hugs. Lisa
I do have a Facebook page, but it's mainly for youth ministry. I already feel guilty about not commenting enough on blogs. We have added this other pressure to ourselves to read and comment and return comments now. Oy.
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