OK, mommies... is this something strange about my own four year old, or does anyone else on the planet go through the same thing?
My littlest cherub has always detested having her hair brushed. But now, at age four, she has declared an all-out battle cry against The Brush. Every day, I dread it as much as she does. No, more. Here's a sampling of what goes on each morning:
Cherub: "Not that hairbrush... I want the other hairbrush!" (the one that glosses over the surface of her tangles without dismantling them.)
Mommy (after finding The Other Brush): "OK...let's put some detangler spray in your hair..."
(*squirt*)
Cherub: " ahhh-ha-he..." (Half-fake whine-cry)
Mommy: "See...I'm brushing as gently as I can." (Carefully holding the hair above difficult snarls so as not to disturb her tender scalp.)
Cherub: "Ahhhhh! That hurts! Ahhh...." escaping from my clutches..."I'm taking a break now, Mommy... "
I kid you not when I say this is probably the script in our house each and every day.
And cute ponytails? Braids? Ribbons? Forget it... no self-respecting hair bobble would dare come near her tresses- or at least and live to tell about it.
Anyone reading who perhaps has only boys- and had ever had the faintest hint of ribbon envy- need not feel a twinge when it comes to my little Brushaphobic.
My oldest somehow managed to be born without painfully sensitive hair folicles. She will gladly bring me The Brush (or The Other Brush)...or in her newfound seven year old independence, even voluntarily use The Brush on ...*gasp*...herself. Has wanting to be like Big Sissy had any positive influence on my impressionable four year old? No...my little matted-hair cherub simply stares at her as if she's lost her mind and then hurries off, tangles flying, to play as far away as she can from The Brush.
Do I sometimes find myself...like right before church... resorting to coralling her little stray hairs into place (as gently as I can without performing some sort of high school wrestling move) so that she looks somewhat presentable? Yes...you can be sure of it! But is it worth it do so everyday? Hmmm....I'm still in debate over this one. For now, if it's not churchtime, a birthday party, or a luncheon with the govenor in his mansion, I resign myself to as many strokes of The Brush as is allowed before war insues. Afterall, a mommy has to pick and choose her battles, and some days I feel just a bit wartorn.
So, if anyone reading this has some great advice on this problem, please don't hesitate to share it!
In the meantime...the next time you see a cute little four year old playing in the park with scraggly, matted tangles surrounding her sweet little face... please don't be too quick to judge her mother in the area of grooming and good hygene. The tired, winded, defeated-looking woman panting on the nearby bench with a hairbrush in her hand just could be someone you know.
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19 comments:
My two year old is dealing with many of these same issues!It is challenging to say the least! Of course I too can remember the PAIN that was inflicted upon me when it came to my Mom doing me hair! Ugh!
I feel your pain! All my girls got the same haircut - a bob - as preschoolers. All of mine have been tender-headed and won't keep a barette in to save their lives. The tears and time wasted are just about enough to make a person crazy. So it stays short enough to keep away from peanut-butter-and-jelly mouths and to keep the tangles more manageable. When they show interest in fixing it - so far this has been around 6 or 7, then we let it grow longer.
I did find a great brush recently at Walmart (where else?) called the "Ouchless" by Goody. It really is a great brush for my 8 year old who is desperately in need of a trim! We also run a brush through the hair when the conditioner is still in in the bath. Seems to help. HUGS!
Yup... same here. My girls would cry if I tried to "do" their hair. I finally gave up and cut it short until they were old enough to comb it themselves. Actually, I remember I was the same way. I hated for my mom to comb my hair. Oh well.
Hmm... Will she let her older sister brush her hair? I have seen this work, believe it or not! The Pipsqueak used to have long hair. We had it cut the first time after a hospital stay that left her matted and tatted and not feeling like having her hair brushed. She has been sporting a bouncy bob ever since! Now that she is old enough to wash her own hair, it's an even bigger bonus! *Smile*
Oh Tammy, I totally can relate to your battle! My oldest daughter has a head full of curls, I can't tell you the number of times we just had it cut off to avoide combing/brushing out the massive amount of tangles I just allowed to grow. I'm so glad she's at the age now to do her own hair. What a very cute post! :)
Does she happen to have curly hair? My daughter is curly, like me, and also has a sensitive scalp. When I wash her hair I load her up with conditioner and *gently* detangle it in the tub with my fingers or a wide tooth comb. When I'm drying her off I gently blot the water out (no rubbing!) and then while it's still wet I braid it. I keep it braided when she's sleeping too in order to keep down the tangles and damage to her hair. This system has been working beautifully.
BTW, brushes terribly damage curly hair. The book "Curly Girl" by Lorraine Massey has an excellent chapter on caring for curly children's hair (there's a review of the book on my blog, I think in June, if you're interested.)
Ouch! I'm almost tempted to say what goes around comes around because of our same battles when you were young. I can't remember which age. We did go to braids for awhile, but it was hard to get the tangles out so that we could braid it. They didn't have any of those neat detangler products then either.
ruth
Your girls' mommy is nicer than my girls' mommy. lol. If mine want hair, it must be brushed, and they must submit willingly. Aren't I mean?!
Of course, none of mine has a tender-head issue, and each has stick-straight hair -- which helps, I think.
Oh my, the hair issues we had. I let my daughter's hair grow and grow - couldn't bear to cut it and by the time she was three, she had hair down to her waist. I simply did not have the patience to deal with it so believe it or not, it was husband Rob who took over brushing her hair and putting it into those long, long braids every day. Turned out his touch was much gentler than mine. You can see Krissy's beautiful but LONG braids in a birthday post I did to her Monday.
Oh thank you, thank you everyone for both your sympathy and helpful hints! Katherine and Amy- those are some super suggestions! And oh, yes, I have been tempted to bob her hair but I don't think hubby would go for it...I like Barb's idea of just having him take over her hair care...but for week day morning that wouldn't work...he leaves before we're all up!
Oh...and no curly hair here. Straight, fine hair that just seems to beckon those snarlies to come hither. ;)
Do you have a secret video camera hidden in my house?! Because you could have seriously just described my morning with my (almost) 4 year old when trying to get her ready to go out in public.
Thanks for visiting my blog awhile back. I just clicked on your comment and found you! :-)
My mom cut my hair (beautiful blonde ringlets) for the very same reason. She hope that it would go in little curls on my head but no...it went straight as a board!!
I had 4 boys and then finally a little girl - I have a picture of her in the bassinet in the hospital with one of those stretchy ribbons and bow that went around her bald little head....thankfully she didn't have sensitive scalp although her patience for endless hair playing was limited!
Great helpful suggestions, I'm so glad for the detanglers on the market now as well.I remember the tears,(on both our Parts) when we had the same problem, & we all seem to have inherited that baby fine hair.
ruth
Johnson and Johnson makes a new product you can spray in called "Buddies". I can only find it in the baby section (like where the baby wash is, or even over in the baby dept at Wal-mart. But that is what has worked best for us and tangles. And it doesn't make the hair look dirty. Try it out! My daughter has actually asked for it.
No good news here, I'm afraid. Our 13-yr-old still has hairbrushing issues. Hopefully, one of the other mom's suggestions will work for you.
My 2-year-old Cutie has sraight hair that goes past her shoulders. She never let me touch it since birth. Anything pretty that goes in it comes out within 5 minutes. The best I have done with it was to curl some wispy bangs before church each Sunday--one curl, and it better be right the first time. Every other day, she goes au-natural.
Thanks for coming to visit my blog
LOL makes me glad I have a boy!!
My oldest used to do this. My 12 year old sister still does. A trick we always used was to put conditioner in her dry hair and then washed it out. For some reason it keeps most of the tangles out all day.
I'm happy to say I can't relate to your hair woes. My little girl was bald at birth and didn't have hair long enough to do anything with until three. Now at four, her hair is very fine and just past her shoulders. I rarely brush her hair, but she has a great cut and when I do fix her hair, she matches the pony tails to her clothes.
So far not hair woes, but her hair isn't that thick and long and at the rate her hair grows I might not need to worry about this problem for years.
Fun carnival post. Mine's up about my little darling!
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