Lessons...

Thank you all so much for your sweet replies and words of wisdom. They have meant so much to me, and I realize just how much this thing called blogging can be used of God as a source of encouragement to one another. I had tears in my eyes reading each and every one.

Yesterday, my daughter and I were able to talk about this off and on throughout the day. I asked many questions. And I was hopefully able to impart some of my own wisdom here and there. But though she just wasn't completely sure where her thoughts had originated, God began opening my own eyes about some fault of our own, and it was both startling and humbling.

I suddenly began to have flashes of memory of where husband and I had wrongly conveyed negative thoughts, perhaps planting seeds of doubt into her young mind about the value of our family.
Things we might have said, tongue in cheek, not realizing that she was overhearing and absorbing...
Like, "Oh, I guess we're just too boring for them now..." referring to another family.
Even the use of the word "cool" coming from my husband's lips, along this very line.

As God began to gently bring these things to my memory, it all began to make a little more sense to me. During the course of the day, I apologized to my daughter for unknowingly portraying our family- ourselves- in a less than positive light. I told her we were, indeed, just as wonderful as other families...and from now on, we would make our words measure up to that fact.

When my husband came home from work, we talked about this whole thing. He knew how upset I had been the night before, and when I started bringing up the examples I had been shown, he immediately and humbly agreed...we had been partly to blame.

So our homework as a couple and has parents is to start speaking more positively about ourselves...start speaking the truth about us...God's truth.

We learned a tremendously valuable lesson throughout this.

It is so easy for parents to be speaking to one another, assuming that children aren't listening but in their own little world at the time...when in actuality, they are more than likely absorbing more than we can possible realize. They pick up subtle nuances and attitudes without us even knowing.
I remember being able to do the same as a child...but how quickly we forget!

The reason I have chosen to be so completely transparent in all of this is because, perhaps there is a lesson someone else out there can learn from our own mistakes...without enduring some of the hurt that we encountered this week.

Yes, overall, we are a nice, happy family...but to pretend we never face trials, make mistakes or learn things the hard way, would be deceiving. All of us- even Christians-make mistakes, and if by being "real" will help others to know they aren't alone in daily struggles, than it is worth it.

I know some of your encouraging prayers were heard, since by the end of yesterday, she and I were having fun, laughing together over something or other...and I was able to get so past the hurt that I was actually able to joke (when she was wanting her "mommy")
"What? You want me sit over next to you? Do you think I'm cool enough? Tell me how cool I am, and maybe...." whereupon, she'd dissolve into giggles.

And one last, totally lighter note...hopefully, you all don't have an image of me as some nerdy old lady that doesn't know a current fashion if it bit her on...um, her big toe. I'm young (well, not really, but I can look 35 on a very good day)...I'm hip (Ok...just sort of...barely...) and if it wasn't for the fact that my husband might object, there'd be a poster of High School Musical in our bedroom. If that isn't cool, I'm not sure what is!

Unless, it's my collection of The Partridge Family records from when I was eight- like my daughter. And my parents were so not cool.