Five years Ago...

Five Years Ago Today...

They placed you on my chest and I held you for the very first time. I felt as if I could hold you forever.

You came into the world...and my heart.

You were the baby I prayed for.
I was already blessed with one wonderful child...but after recently feeling the pain of losing a pregnancy, I wanted so desperately to have another.
And growing up as I did, an only child, I wanted so much for my child to have a sibling.

Yet...I wasn't getting any younger.

And though I loved my first child so much, the trauma surrounding her birth left me weak afterwards, and unable to truly enjoy the maternal experience of a new baby in her early weeks.
I longed for a chance to give birth without terrifying complications...to hold my baby without weak arms, and in a cloud of depression.
I wanted to feel the overwhelming joy instead.

And as many prayers went up, God graciously smiled down on me, and gave me the desire of my heart.

One year to the month after losing a pregnancy, you came into the world....
smooth as silk...sweet as Springtime...and into my waiting arms.

And when I first gazed upon you, my first thought was that I already knew you. Like when you're meeting someone new but feeling like like you've known them all of your life.
And all the tender emotions I knew were waiting under the surface came flooding out, just as I hoped they would.

Thinking of this gift God granted me makes me well up with tears today.

You were more than just a second child. You were a second chance at so much.

Your sister's life is fuller because of you...and so are your mommy's and daddy's life.

I still feel as if I could hold you forever. But I know I cannot completely do that...not in the same way. And at the moment, I feel just a little sad at the thought...

Still...I know that in a way, I will always hold you close...throughout our lives and always.

Happy 5th birthday, sweet girl~