We're at a crossroads. The puppy we adopted and have lovingly cared for these past two months is precariously hanging onto this family by a thread. We may just need to find another home for her. And it breaks my heart.
From the start, she was pretty feisty, but I thought it was simply being a puppy. Now, she continues to be borderline aggressive. Yes, she's still a puppy- only three months old. But the problem is now that when she jumps up on the children- and she does so often- she is considerably bigger. In fact, when she jumps up and is standing, she is now the same size as our four year old. And she has claws...sharp ones.
On top of this, she has nipped in an aggressive way, drawing blood on each of us. And I'm sure you'll understand that as a mother, I just can't live with this.
On the other hand, she can be sweet as can be some of the time, giving puppy licks and playing fetch. She is one of the smartest dogs at her young age that I have ever encountered. She almost potty-trained herself right away. And I taught her three tricks before Christmas in the course of three days, which she still does on command for a treat. If she hears the word "walk" she tries to find her leash...all this at only three months!
Yet...she is half Chow and everything I have heard recently is that they can be aggressive. And the Chow in her comes out off and on throughout every day. She'll bite at me, then bark aggressively when I tell her to stop. (I'm talking aggressively.) And even when she's just plain being playful, she is so large now...so strong, that she can hurt us when she's not even trying.
I researched a bit before we bought her, but at the time, I somehow just didn't find out enough about chows. It was all fine knowing she was half Lab. *sigh* I tend to research everything, so I'm still not sure how so much information about the Chow got past me. Maybe I was simply too eager to get our pup.
I know she has so much potential- I'm just beginning to ask myself if she is best in the care of people that don't have little ones.
But after two months, you can imagine the sadness I am feeling at the prospect. The bonding process already has begun with most of us, and I'm concerned about how the children will be able to handle having to let her go.
I've been researching aggressive puppy behavior, but everything I've been seeing lately points to the simply fact that some breeds are just not for every family...especially those with young children.
Any words of wisdom are appreciated...and prayers for wisdom to make the right decision.
I have never in my life had to give up a dog...and I've had many through the years. And I am so loyal in my own nature, that to give up on her goes against my very being. Yet...my maternal instinct is a bit stronger.
Forgive me downbeat post tonight, but this decision weighs heavily on my heart.
Blessings!
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21 comments:
How sad! I have no words of wisdom, but I will be saying a prayer for you as you decide what is best for all concerned. *Hugga*
That is a hard decision and I'll be thinking about you. It's a tough situation for you all I bet.
We had a full blooded chow once, he actually never bit any of us but did bite others that came into the yard. He was an outdoor dog, not an inside one.
Hope you'll feel better soon about it all.
Ok, 1st....look at my post of our "puppy" http://southerness.blogspot.com/2006/05/snails-and-puppy-dog-tails.html
and let me preface this by saying our last dog (of 13) years was a full blooded, fully living inside Chow. Our chow was the most intelligent, non-agressive, loving dog I have ever encountered. She was just an angel. We had her long before we had children and with each child she was gentle and accepting and graciously gave up her throne to them when they arrived. BUT --- my parents have a chow that is every negative thing you read about the breed.
Our chow-lab mix has been a challenge in the potty training area to the point of us debating whether or not keep her. We have wondered if the lab in her just gives her so much energy she would do better on a farm or something. I also wonder if the Lab energy might build up and come out as overly boisterous and nippy in your puppy?
Ours is a submissive dog in a not necessarily positive way...but in a way that you notice that she is a bit unsure with people, which can lead to agressive behavior -- and at 70 lbs that isn't a great combination. She has not shown any aggression to me or the children but is a bit wary of my DH and has stress incontinence - yuck(no biting of anyone at all, though!). I am still working with her. I am thinking I need some professional dog training for her.
I have heard that sometimes with mixed breeds you get the best of both breeds, which is what I was hoping for...but sometimes you get the worst of both :-(
Like you, we wanted a puppy so bad...and there was Dixie so now we have a dog. LOL I wish I had some great advice! (((Hugs)))
This is a very tough decision, I am sure, especially after you have all bonded with the puppy. Best wishes in your decision making.
That is so hard, Tammy. Is there a dog training classes in your area. They will work with the both of you. It sounds just like he's the kind of dog that just needs good, knowledgeable training.
Ouch, that sucks. Labs can be very bite-y, too, you know. I personally wouldn't have a chow around a kid - but I'm not a dog training expert. She's going to be a big dog, and if you feel like she's going to be aggresive, I would not keep her, however heartbreaking that may be.
Hey, after my long reply earlier I got to thinking...Dixie was very "chewy" and always wanted to chew on us (not agressively but just kind of want to naw on us all the time) between 2 and 4 months. Do you think that might be the issue. Dixie isn't like that anymore and the licking is gone as well. She is a year now.
I just have to say we got a dog the a year before our baby was born, and when I was pregnant we gave it up. (Well we had it one year). She jumped too much, I just couldn't do it. We decided no big dogs until our kids are older....
Oh I am so sorry because after teaching kindergarten for 32 years, I know how important animals are for kids. They can teach kids so much. I am also a dog lover but I do understand your problem and the aggression is problem. Do you ever watch the "Dog Whisperer" on National Geographic? He has great advice for training dogs and I learn something everytime I watch it. I think he has a website too, maybe he has some insight. Good luck!
As you can see I finally was able to get through. Glad you told me they were down for awhile this afternoon when we talked on the phone. I'm praying for you to make the right decission. It is hard to know if this is just a puppy phase or a persoanality trait but I know that the Lord can give you the wisdom to decide, so continue to pray & seek His guidance. He will show you in His time what you should do & you will have His peace when you do decide. In the meantime Rest in the Lord & don't strss about it.
ruth
I think the best thing to do is talk to your vet. They have your interest and hers at heart.
We had a dog that actually turned aggressive after having her for 5 years. She was an australian cattle dog mix. She had welcomed our cat, learned to play with her gently for severl years and was fine. Our dog became aggressive, with me, the cat, and then finally with my husband. That seems to be a sign- dogs will always ultimately respect who they see as the "lead dog" and this is usually the man in the family.
Our story ended very sadly. She attacked our cat, and we were there to stop it. With the counsel of our vet and a lot of thinking, we had to put the dog down. We couldn't give her away, because she was unpredictable. We feared she would one day attack a small child. We didn't have our daughter at the time. Our vet said it was the best decision. (After we ruled out any physical problems.)
This is, of course, not the same as your pup, but I wanted to share to tell you that I understand your sadness.
Just talk to your vet, or several vets if it helps. They may can help you determine what is puppy behaviour and what is from the breed. They may also refer you to someone who can help with training, if that is an option.
Don't feel guilty about giving her up, if you have to do that. You have to look out for your kids.
Let us know how it goes.
It sounds like a puppy phase to me. Our dog gnawed on all of us including his chew toys. lol However, your dog needs discipline and I feel like if you could get into a doggy training class it would help the most. They will tell you things like never use your hand to scold the dog as it associate you with the same aggressive behavior you are trying to correct. Instead, use a rolled up newspaper, simply to teach not abuse.
All my friends that have Chows/labs have sweet, good natured, smart dogs but training a dog is a huge commitment.
Listen to your heart; trust your instincts! Only you can decide if you have the time and patience to train the dog. With good training, the rewards are great! If not, just try to be at peace with it and while the dog is still a puppy, I am sure you will be able to find a loving home for it! :) Either way, I am afraid it won't be easy...
Thank you all for your words of support and wisdom. I'm still completely so uncertain...yet, something did happen to ease some of the burden a bit.
One of my very good friends said that she read my post and spoke with her husband. We're all very good friends with them, and they are more than willing to take her if I do decide to let her go. This is huge to me, since making sure a pet that you already care about is going to be taken care of and loved.
Yet...I'm still uncertain. I'm giving myself a week to pray about it and observe.
Some of you have mentioned training classes and I am willing to look into this, depending on how costly they are.
Thank you again to those of you who replied with both advice and simply to say you'll be praying for wisdom.
It means a lot to me!
Blessings!
I mostly had cats when I was growing up but when I was around 7 years old, mom decided to get a dog...it was a tiny little chihuaha but oh my, it was so agressive and mean, it was snapping and biting all of us so after a few months mom gave her away. I remember being so mad at her for giving it away but she said she would rather make us sad that way than have one of us badly hurt by the dog. A true mother:-) I know you will make the right decision...but I know what a hard one it is for you to make!! Hugs xoxo
I second the advice to consult "the Dog Whisperer." (Reminds me of the movie "Nanny McPhee" and the dad hearing, "You need Nanny McPhee!" over and over.) That man (the Dog Whisperer)can take a disobedient, aggressive dog and train it to take its rightful place in a family - as the family dog, not the leader of a wolfpack.
If, however, you can't train your pup to understand that all of you are its master, I agree with the suggestions to find it another home. It's heartbreaking - we had to do it once - but your daughters' safety is what's most important.
I'm praying for you!
Tammy,
I visited yesterday and left a comment, but I'm finding blogger ate most comments I left :(
I'll be praying for you to make the right decision. Your heart will guide you..
hugs!
I'm in such a huge hurry to read over two hundred posts showing in my bloglines, I'm not reading all the other comments here so forgive me if I repeat something someone already said.
Of course your mother instinct comes out over this. But I understand how you feel about the puppy, too. A Chow/Lab mix is bound to be extremely intelligent although yes, the Chow part is going to be aggressive.
If it were me, I'd talk to a vet about the possibility of training. Almost any dog can be trained to not nip at people or jump on them.
I admit I'm not real familiar with Chows but you may have to face the fact that the aggressiveness can't be overcome and find a new home. I know that will be difficult but of course your family's safety comes first.
Truly, I'd suggest if this happens and you get a new puppy, get a lab. If it's a mix, make sure they're all gentle dogs. My daughter has a sharpei/yellow lab mix and Cody is the gentlest dog, with the possible exception of my Chelsea, a shih tzu, I've ever met.
Of course if you can afford a shih tzu, I highly recommend that. We researched the web for hours and everywhere we went we read that shih tzus are wonderful with children. Chelsea is just another big baby!
Don't apologize for doing a down post. This would upset anyone.
Glad you found someone who may take her. What an overwhelming relief.
If you decide on puppy training classes, call the Humane Society or ask your vet- they may know of some that are less expensive. :>)
We went through this when Andrew was just a baby... We had a HIGHLY trained German Shepherd that we adored but had to get rid of when she showed agressive tendencies toward Andrew. It was Reallllly hard, but in the end was the best decision for us all. Praying for you to make the best decision for your sweet family!
Jennifer R.
Lose her! *gasp* Did I say that aloud? Sorry.
Ahem.
You have to do what you have to do. We sent our first dog away because our oldest had to wrestle her onto a leash attached to a tree so that our toddler daughter could go outside and play. It's just no way to live.
The bible is clear that we should care for our animals (feed them) but that they are here to serve us. (We are to subdue and have dominion.) Your puppy is not a service to you, it sounds like.
Perhaps there is a better breed for you out there?
Sorry... I neglected to read this original post on your pup: Our chow used to bite ALOT and jump on us too. She spent most of her time as a pup out in the garage because she was too aggressive - always nipping at everyone. The kids would play with her OUTSIDE.
It's only been in the last year that we let her come in. She's now 3 1/2. Now she spends more time and sleeps inside. You might have to limit her time indoors and make sure your girls aren't alone around her. Just a thought. I'm no expert. But we did get through it. I'm so glad we didn't give up on her because she's the gentlest dog now you'd never know she was such a pain before. Praying for your situation. I do know it's difficult and very trying!
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